A problem that I experienced during my 20s was that I was on a constant search for fun and stimulation and I believed that it would deliver me satisfaction. The search for that feeling of happiness and fulfilment was misguided – I looked for it in the things that I could buy and it was a life lived with short-term gains, quick fixes, night-clubs and other superficial things that I thought would improve other people’s perception of me.

And if there was one thing that I lacked, it was patience. I always wanted more and I wanted it in the shortest possible time.

From these experiences, I’ve learned that happiness doesn’t come from objects and that there is a big difference between me having short-term fun, and experiencing consistent levels of genuine satisfaction and fulfilment.

Don’t get me wrong, life without fun would suck. But searching for activities that bring short-term fun, due to the stimulation it gives to my mind, yet still leave me feeling shit about myself afterwards no longer make sense to me – and I no longer have time for them.

I remember the need I felt to go out every weekend chasing fun – in fact, I felt the need so much I did it multiple times each week. But every single time, I could have asked myself the next day, “Did I have fun? Was it worth it?” and the answer would be “No.” Feeling like shit for 2-3 days afterwards was definitely not worth it – for either my body and my mind.

The same can be said for those times that I used to reward myself for a long day at work, or for going to the gym, by eating chocolate or ice-cream. Within 5 minutes of finishing it I would have a gut ache and ask myself, “why the fuck did you do that?”

I built a career that was motivated by the title I believed would earn me respect, an income that would give me freedom, buying properties to prove a point and driving a fast sports car to create an image. When I obtained all of these things, all it left me with was the feeling of wanting more. There’s no satisfaction in always looking for something else.

Today, a much deeper sense of satisfaction and fulfillment come from focusing my time and energy towards purposeful activities. In my mind, the greatest activity worth improving is the relationship I have with myself, and that’s about how I treat myself through my health.

Fulfilment is finding a balance or a sweet spot across many different areas – career, health, relationships, energy, finances, spirituality. Putting all of my eggs in the one basket – career – just meant that I neglected everything else in the meantime.

It’s important to understand that fulfilment isn’t to be confused with feeling content – it’s more so a sense that everything is on track and heading in the direction that I want it to be heading. It gives me certainty and confidence.